At Home In The Friendzone

Hey guys (and I mean the guys here), you all know what it’s like to get stuck in the dreaded “friendzone”
of a girl you like. Everything’s going great, when suddenly; she brings up how you’re such good friends.
This doesn’t always mean friendzone, but often, it does (and you know when it does).

This post isn’t about how to find the perfect girl, nor is it about how to get out of the friendzone. This
post is telling you that the friendzone is one of the best places you can possibly be.

Whoa, 316trees, back up. You’re saying the friendzone is good?

Yes, I am, and for one simple reason. As a teenager, I don’t expect to get married anytime soon, and
have at least 5 years before I would even think about it. I’m not completely against dating, but with all
the hormones and whatnot that come with being a teenager, dating someone will almost definitely end
(yes, there are exceptions), and when it does, any subsequent reactions with that person will probably
be awkward and strained. Any of you, who have dated someone, unless you have some secret I don’t
know, know exactly what I’m talking about (and, if you do have some secret of preventing awkwardness,
email me, NOW. 316trees@gmail.com). So, instead of getting super close to a great girl, then having
something go terribly wrong, I’d rather get myself friendzoned.

Let me elaborate on why. If me and a girl are in a truly Christ-centered relationship, then the physical
aspect of the relationship will most likely not progress beyond holding hands, hugging, maybe kissing,
but not a whole lot (not condemning anyone who is past that, so long as Jesus is at the center, you’re
good!). Basically, a close friendship should be as fulfilling as or more fulfilling than a boyfriend-girlfriend
relationship. The reason for this is, in my opinion, that, in our current day society anyway, teens are
increasingly expected by their peers to do more with people that they care about less.

At lunch the other day, I overheard someone say “yeah, I broke up with her last night.” His friend asked
why, and the first guy said “well, we’d been dating for 2 months, and we hadn’t f***ed yet, and she
wasn’t even that hot, so, no loss.” I did a double take, and they caught me staring, but couldn’t figure
out what I was looking at. I just walked away.

However, if you’re just friends, even if someone asks “dude, when are you gonna ask her out?” it’s easy
to respond “I got friendzoned.” No one will question that, and you won’t even be lying! I’d much rather
have relationships (friendship) without societal pressure than one (boyfriend- girlfriend) with, especially
when they are essentially indistinguishable.

I want to bring up one more point. The Bible talks about 2 relationships a man can have with a woman,
no more, no less. Guys, a girl is either your sister in Christ, or your wife. The Bible isn’t edited to reflect
the culture of the times; it is the guide for how we are to live our lives, regardless of what the opinions
of others are.

Now, I don’t want to sound like I think you should just propose to your best friend. Common sense can
tell me that isn’t a good idea. But, when you are in a relationship, it gets tricky, because your hormones
are telling you what you want, and society is telling you that’s what you should get, but the Bible is
telling you something different. When you’re dating, you need to be careful that the relationship is truly
Christ-centered, and that’s one thing I don’t really want to worry about, so I’ve chosen not to.

The reason I don’t want to date is that right now, I’m happy, and I’m single. I don’t want to complicate
that, or any friendships. I don’t want to say that I’m not going to date at all in the next year, because, I
might, but if there is any girl I’m supposed to date, it will be in His plan, and then the friendzone doesn’t
matter.

Being a Christian means surrendering your will to His, and trusting that He will make it clear to you what
His plan is. I’m a Christian, and I can’t think of any reason to date a non-Christian, so any relationship in
my future will, if I can understand His will, be His will, not mine.

I’m at home in the friendzone because if I have chosen to make my life a part of His plan, the friendzone
doesn’t matter. If it is His will, then it will be. If not, it won’t.

Dang, this was a long post, my longest yet, I think, and I could go on. What did you people think? Leave
it in the comments! I like comments… This is something that’s been on my mind a lot lately, so expect to
see some more in the coming weeks :)